Looking at why some children may be quiet
All children are different, with different personalities and characteristics. Within a nursery or a children’s setting there may be children who are confident and outgoing, and also those children who are that bit quieter and shy. When first joining a nursery or children’s setting, understandably most children may be a little shy and quiet and it may take a few visits or even a couple of hours, for their confidence to develop and their personality to really shine. However, practitioners may face situations where children continue to be quiet, with an unwillingness to talk to practitioners at the setting, but are confident talkers elsewhere. In this case, concerned practitioners will need to take a step back and assess the situation and try to determine why the child is unwilling to talk to adults in the setting. The practitioners will need to find the best way to support the child and to help them to gain confidence within the setting.
There could be a variety of reasons why a child is quiet within a children’s setting, including selective mutism, being shy, and English being their second language. Briefly mentioned was the impact of attending a new setting for the first time, without a parent or guardian, and the effect this has on a child’s confidence. Most children will be quieter than usual and shyer when facing new adults and new children without the support of their parents. However, their confidence gradually begins to build and they once again find their voice.
Selective mutism could imply that a child is choosing to be quiet, and in terms of the situation described above, the child is making the conscious choice to not talk to the practitioners within the setting. However this is not the case; the term selective mutism describes more of an involuntary and automatic reaction to an uncomfortable situation a child faces. The child may be a confident talker at home with their friends and families, but when taken out of this comfort zone and away from their family the child can develop a dread of speaking. This dread of speaking leads to a child becoming extremely anxious and worried about having to speak in front of others.
Practitioners who support a child dealing with selective mutism need to understand that this is not a choice for the child, and that they are not merely being ‘difficult’, and empathise with them. Practitioners should help the child to find their confidence within the setting, starting with small tasks as to not overwhelm them. Over time their confidence can gradually build up and the child may begin to find their voice, perhaps not with the practitioners at first, but with the other children. Repetition of favourite activities is a great way for practitioners to develop a child’s confidence, the more practice a child has at an activity, the more they will feel confident that they can carry it out and complete it.
Most children will experience times when they feel shy. For some children, being shy is just an aspect of their personality. Children who are shy to begin with, will find starting a new setting with new children and new adults very difficult. The child may feel uncomfortable and anxious when talking to new people, and when taking part in activities due to others watching, and the fear of making mistakes. Children who are shy are not choosing to opt out of activities and games, but may experience overwhelming emotions such as embarrassment which can lead them to not take part.
Practitioners working with shy children can empathise with them and show an understanding, as we have all experienced these feelings at one point or another in our lives, and have faced uncomfortable situations where we have felt shy and vulnerable. With encouragement and support from practitioners, shy children can begin to feel more confident about joining in with games and activities, and sharing their voice gradually over time. Those children with selective mutism however may not show substantial progress and may need to seek help from professionals outside of the setting.
Assigning a key person to those children who are particularly shy will help them to gain confidence. When the child is feeling particularly anxious or shy they can approach their key person to seek comfort. Assigning a child a key worker offers the opportunity for a bond and a relationship to be built.
Although forming a bond with a practitioner is great, the practitioners need to encourage the child to play with other children and build relationships which are key for their social development. Practitioners can encourage children who are particularly shy to play with others by pairing them up during activities and games. Starting off with playing in pairs and completing short simple tasks ensures that the child will not be overwhelmed.
Children’s settings are open to children from all different countries, cultures and religions and practitioners need to remember that English may not be a child’s first language. A young child within a setting may still be learning English, and may seem slightly quiet as they are still taking time to understand and process the words that have been spoken to them, and try to find the correct words in order to respond.
Implementing strategies such as self-registration helps those children who are shy, those who have English as an additional language and those children who may have selective mutism. Offering self-registration takes away the fear and anxieties answering out loud in a large group could have for these particular children. This strategy will also help those children who do not have English as their first language as they can see the written language and begin to become familiar with the letters.